Only a wife who no longer feels loved by her husband knows what it is like to spend the whole night with someone and yet still feel cold and lonely. Being with a man who does not seem to love you anymore can really feel like you are already living your life alone. Sure, the two of you still share a house, financial concerns, and maybe children – but your lives are basically being lived apart.
Living in what feels like a loveless marriage is in many ways harder to bear than being actually single. Of course, actually getting a divorce and living alone means facing a number of harsh realities. But, when the love seems to have left a marriage, you have to ask yourself: why go on in your marriage? And: is there any way to get the love back?
If you find yourself saying to yourself or friends, “I feel like my husband doesn’t love me anymore,” here are 5 questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you still love him?
Of course, with this and each of the other questions posed below, it is very important to be 100% honest with yourself. Now, here goes: do you still love your husband? If you do not love him but just feel you should be married because it is the thing to do, you need to seriously examine whether your marriage is worth saving.
2. Has he done anything to make it impossible to respect or trust him?
If your husband has done one or more things – such as cheating on you, being physically abusive, or draining your family’s savings to feed a gambling problem – to make it impossible to respect or trust him anymore, your relationship already may be past the point of no return.
3. Do you suspect he is distracted by something outside the relationship?
Sometimes, a lack of interest in a marriage on the part of the husband or wife is due entirely to outside factors not related to the marriage itself. For example, if your husband is having financial problems, challenges at work, or is having health-related issues, he may come across to you as being much less warm and loving than he otherwise might be.
4. Does he have interest in sex, even if it is not with you?
One way that couples keep the momentum of their relationship going strong is by maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. If your husband has lost interest in your mutual sexual relationship, one question you should be asking is whether he has lost his sex drive overall, or just with you. If you believe that he has lost his overall sex drive, it could be a sign that he has a condition called Low T or low testosterone. Or, he could have depression problems. Both of these issues have nothing to do with you.
5. Does he have friends and other outside interests that make him happy?
Apart from his seeming relative lack of interest in your relationship, does your husband have other areas in his life that make him happy? For example, does he have hobbies, friends or activities that put a smile on his face? If not, one of your husband’s problems could be just a general lack of excitement about life or even depression (see above). Getting him to take the time to enjoy himself a bit more could do wonders for your marriage.
Based upon your answers to these 5 questions, you probably have a better idea now about where your relationship is and what other potential causes there could be in your husband’s seeming lack of interest in your marriage.
Now, if you still feel you want to fight for your marriage, it is time to get an action plan together to revive the love in your marriage.
Get your difficult marriage back on track with expert relationship advice from someone who has saved thousands of marriages at: Bring My Husband’s Love Back.
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